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[03 Oct 2020|12:00am] |
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all the good reads are for private eyes
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[08 Jun 2009|03:12pm] |
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beach demon-wavves |
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The thought of leaving a mark here is so daunting sometimes. I allow too much time to pass in between entries. I turned 21 in May, and it was possibly the most lack luster of birthday's so far. Joey and I ate some mall grub off of styrofoam plates and watched construction workers try and keep the dust off our food, and my mother made me lasagna for supper. I have a very distinct memory of my mother sewing me a party dress when I was a young bugger. It was black with bright pink flowers and puffed just right around my scrawny stilts. She combed my white hair into the perfect ponytail and I trudged across a field in my mary-janes holding a brightly colored package bigger than I was... towards the house with the balloons on the mailbox. This is what the word "birthday" means to me. A week and a half ago, a couple of us drove to the coast in a station wagon to see Animal Collective. Road trips are like drinking youth syrup... something about bare legs on the dashboard, Ray Bans, and a smoking doobie as you cruise in a steel monster. I love watching the landscape slowly morph from a rock-ridden desert into a juicy jungle that reminds me of how pretty my hair can be. Joey popped his ocean cherry and it was gorgeous watching his eyes light up with the reflection of seeing the sea for the first time. We stayed downtown in a charmingly outdated hotel that overlooked a pretty garden. Joey bought me market flowers one morning while I was primping and we kept them in a coffee cup on the windowsill, surrounded by sheer curtains stained with salty wind. We had our first dose of pure summer, burning the evidence of tank tops onto our shoulders and getting lost at dusk among trees taller than buildings. Man alive, the perfect weekend by the sea. In other news, I've started a new job at Nars. It's nice working for a company that I really love, but getting back into the routine of a 9-5 is really awkward. I can rarely keep my eyes open passed 11 these days and I spend a lot of my spare time half asleep in the bath tub, sleepy little night owl. I'm starting work on the new Bikeland EP that they'll be releasing exclusively for Sled Island, which I'm pretty excited about. I've found a nice little niche doing work for musicians and hopefully I can expand on that a bit more. I've missed you livejournal, I promise to try harder. ( & )
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[25 Apr 2009|04:28pm] |
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an ugly death-jay reatard |
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I'm sitting alone upstairs in a pink velvet chair, tucked away in a corner. The boys below me are making noises so thick and loud, that my floor hovers above easily. They play two discombobulated songs and then the music suddenly stops. I hear guitar twittering, little machines, and then footsteps. I look up and say, "hey" all at once in a startle. He falls over me, grabs my face and kisses me hard. I can't breathe, the new familiarity is blocking my airway. My heart has beaten out of my chest and is now flying around the room, knocking on the windows and ceiling. His body swallows mine and he pulls at my mouth. As quickly as he came, he is gone again. I breathe deeply, wrangle my heart and settle back down into the pink velvet as the noise below resumes.
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[14 Apr 2009|06:24pm] |
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paper lace-swan lake |
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Joey took this picture of me pulling my toes on Easter morning. I had the loveliest Easter I've ever had. Joey invited me to his Father's ranch for family dinner. It was up high and you could see the mountains and the big sky when you smoked and held barn kittens on the porch steps. It felt really nice being around his big family. I've never really met them before so I was really nervous during the drive there. But the high content of animals and beautiful people made it feel like my favorite cousins house filled with finger food and people you can cuddle.
After dinner we wore farmer coats and boots that were too big for us and road in the bed of the truck. We drove down a dirt road at sunset and my hair licked my cheeks as I smiled at Joey through the yellow light. I fed a baby cow and it drooled all over my legs. After, Joey and I stood in the middle of a crowd of horses who put their faces on our shoulders and let me kiss their noses. I want to keep this.
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[02 Apr 2009|04:25pm] |
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evangeline-handsome furs |
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Mexico I love you. I have found a piece of my heart in the concrete, sand, and skies of the Mexican landscape. There isn't anything else I could possibly say. I want to go on an excursion, packed in a van full of artists, lovers, and animals. We'll drive across the country and find the rest of ourselves. If I hadn't left my little love boat at home in the prairies, I would have swam out into the ocean and never returned. Alas, I can't bring myself to be without him... I cried on my first night in a lonely bed (mostly due to my 1 1/2 hours of sleep the night before... but still) Joey told me the other day that he could very well be with me, really be with me. He wants to have babies in ten years and sit in rocking chairs with me. He told me about our home and our bodies...the kittens in my tummy purred. I realized a lot of my feelings toward him while my jaded outer skin burned and peeled under the Sinaloan sun. Growing up, I always imagined myself alone with a herd of wild horses when I was older... I didn't want anyone except for myself, but he changed who I am. I found things in him that I didn't even care to look for in other people. He is my sweetest friend, my lover, my very self. The Saturday after I flew home, I slipped on ice at 7am before climbing into Joey's warm bed. In the evening, I cuddled Lauren and her birthday bones through drunk lips and sleepy eyes while a blizzard ate her home. I'm only a few days along in my adventure to find a new job and I'm already totally discouraged. The only reason I want one is so I can stop answering unemployment questions over and over and so my mother will stop telling me I'm wasting away in an artland filled with boys and uncertain futures. I don't care! I just want to make out! I am so ready for summer. I'm ready for long grass and bare shoulders. ( a couple casual snaps from my trip )
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[18 Mar 2009|11:43pm] |
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corrina, corrina-bob dylan |
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I always say I'm going to post more drawings and shit on here, so this will be a drawings and shit only post. Well, Lauren broke up with her boyfriend. As soon as I found out, I called her without a second thought. After the two of us cried a bloody ocean... we resolved our silly dramatic girl issues. Thank goodness. I knew we would work it out, I just didn't know how. So far I know the break-up has been really hard on her, which just breaks my heart. He's been fighting to make her stay. I just hope she's tougher than he is. Anyway, now I can go back to writing about impersonal bullshit that doesn't matter. Thank you all for your dear advice. I can always count on you, livejournal. I was lucky enough to recently be featured in the debut issue of the beautiful "ANTLER MAGAZINE." Check out my interview and a bunch of other talented artists, designers, and generally cool-ass people here!I painted my fingernails an obnoxious coral color in celebration of the sunset I will be watching on Friday evening. I'm so excited to have beach hair and itchy beach skin and to be so hot that I'm uncomfortable. I love the way I sleep when I've been out in the sun all day. I plan on taking an embarrassing amount of photos, which tends to happen under the umbrella of warm weather. As well as read two and a half books (one of which I got half-way through and than abandoned... which I do often and has nothing to do with the quality of said book) When I get home from the beach, I need to buck up and get a real job. No more lazying around Joey's pad having sex with him, smoking pot, watching the boys play music, watching endless hours of South Park/Flight of the Conchords, and drawing pictures of animals all day. Fuck, that was the best three months of my life. ( ...the other half of this entry )
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[17 Jan 2009|04:20pm] |
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boatfriend-black moth super rainbow |
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Prescription pain killers are fucking boss! Now since the initial pain has chilled out and calmed down, I no longer have to take nearly as much medication. I'm taking about a quarter as I was a few days ago when I was a sedated beast freak. Percocets are hell incarnate, they make me feel like total shit. I have no idea why people take them for "fun". If you do, you're fucking dumb. My voice isn't all squeaky and awful from the breathing tube anymore either. I was so afraid of having surgery because my life is so dreamy. I didn't want to "go through something" and have everything change. I'm glad to be back. Last night Joey skipped a show that he had been looking forward to for weeks to come take care of me and have a sleep over party. I needed him so hard. I knew I would feel moons more normal once I saw him, and of course I did. I was curled up in unconsciousness and he brought me roses and played Scrabble with me even though I know he secretly hates it because I always win. Aw baby, what a gem. I'm lucky. Yesterday an insanely perfect opportunity fell into my lap out of no where. A friend of a friend of mine who has been living in Strasburg, France for the past few months as an Au Pair (which is sort of like a nanny but with less responsibility) contacted me. Her 10 months is up in September and the family needs a replacement. Who was that who wanted to move to France in September for a yearish but wasn't sure where the hell she was going to work? Oh right, moi! They pay for pretty much everything too; accommodation, food, french lessons, your plane ticket to France, vacations... everything. Which means I will have to pay for my ticket home and THAT'S IT. I can spend the rest of my savings traveling everywhere, (seeing as I will have my mid-days, evenings, and weekends off and the French take 80 bazillion holidays a year. Germany is 5 minutes away, Paris 2.5 hours and Switzerland is 1.5) eating French cookies, buying French clothes, and buying French wine. Not to mention they're going to be paying me about 200 dollars a week extra. I really hope I get the job, it would be so magical. I'm trying not to get my hopes up though because it seems far too good to be true. But ohhh I want to be a french dame. Cross your fingers, toes, and baguettes for me! In other news, I'm going to Toronto for a week in about a week. I'm excited to see my baby sisters and my paps and also to be inexplicably bored and lonely. Whoever lives in Toronto, adopt me and take me for a walk! ( so much good )
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